Text Ur Ex Back
You’ve paid close attention to all of the advice the experts have given you about how to get your ex back. You’ve given your ex space. You’ve obeyed a no contact rule for several weeks.
You haven’t begged, pleaded, or revealed a needy side of yourself. You’ve gone out, met new people, and had fun without your ex. You’ve kept control of your emotions and have remained confident.
You’ve done everything you’re supposed to do, but now you’re ready to make that all important first contact with your ex. And you’ve decided to use your cell phone to try and text your ex back.
You pull out your phone. You stare at the screen. You start to press a few buttons.
Then you get stuck.
The realization sets in that you don’t really know what to say or how to say it. Do you just say hello? Do you apologize? Do you try and say something funny or romantic? Do you talk about the relationship or just pretend that everything is the way it used to be?
We’ve all been there. Trying to text your ex back after a breakup is never as easy as it sounds. But here are a few tips about text messages that can help you get one step closer to getting your ex back than you were yesterday.
1.) If at all possible, try to avoid sending what Michael Fiore refers to in his texting guide, Text Your Ex Back, as a “nothing” text. These texts basically say nothing and leave no hooks to get your ex to respond. Texts like “What’s up” or “Hey” are great for every day conversation, but they are usually worthless when it comes to getting your ex back.
2.) Don’t talk about the relationship. Your old relationship is dead and talking about it will only stir up negative feelings. Instead, you want to focus on texts that help your ex see you in a positive light and texts that help open them up to the idea of being with you in a new relationship.
3.) Avoid holding a grudge or sending texts that make your ex feel like they owe you something. Forgive yourself for any mistakes you made in the relationship and be able to forgive your ex for their mistakes as well.
4.) Always keep texts positive if you want to get your ex back. Never get into a fight or any other type of negative conversation with your ex over text.
5.) Don’t send needy texts that make you appear desperate to get your ex back.
6.) You should have a goal in mind for every text before you send it. What response do you hope to get from your ex? A smile? A laugh? Are you trying to bring back a specific memory of good times you’ve shared together? Always text with a purpose.
7.) Get the ball rolling with an “across the bow text”. According to Michael Fiore, an across the bow text is “…that first text you send when you haven’t talked to or seen your ex in a while, and is designed to let them know that you’re thinking about them, that you don’t have any negative feelings towards them, and that you’re not horribly, horribly messed up over the break up (even if you actually are).”
Here’s a quick example, “I just saw the cutest kitten. It made me smile and I immediately thought of you because I know how much you love cats. Hope you’re doing great.”
When you want to text your ex back after a breakup, using text messages like the one above are great because they keep things positive, they aren’t pushy in any way, and they don’t put any pressure on your ex to respond. It’s always important to give your ex an “out” in your first few texts so they don’t feel like they HAVE to respond.